Facing My Biggest FEAR aka How I Learned to Swim in my 40's

Water to me has always been a siren's song to me. It calls me, beckons me and for years I would evade it. I loved water as long as it wasn't on my face or near any part of my body that I used for breathing. I would scream whenever I had to get my hair washed or if was caught out in a rainstorm. I always felt it was trying to drown me.

It started one year at summer camp. I had an ambitious swim coach who swore up and down, every which way until Sunday that she could teach me and anyone else in the world to swim. Somehow my parents believed this cocky little girl as she was probably 20 at best. Yeah...

I won't even bother to go into the details except to say I almost drowned and took out another little girl at the same time. I was seven. That day I decided swimming is not for me. My sister almost drowned a few years later. My mom didn't swim and oddly enough she drowned in the bathtub at 50. Needless to say, we are not water folks.

I tried again though at 16, then 21, 30, and the magical year of 33. I thought if Jesus can die for our sins and save the world at 33 I could learn how to swim, and well, just be thankful your soul was not at stake on my swimming prowess. Now here I am in my 40's and #livingmybestlife

I was given a couple of near-death experiences over the last few years that I now have a "fuck it" mentality. When it's my time, it's my time...period the end. Some think it makes me reckless, I believe it makes me fearless. Don't get me twisted I'm not jumping off cliffs or anything.

I am trying things I believed were damn near impossible for me. And what I've learned is all things are possible. In four weeks...I did what so many had tried to teach me to do. I SWAM ON MY OWN, without floaties, without anyone in the pool to hold my hand. I did it. WHY? What changed?

When I first arrived in Koh Samui, I went to a Detox camp. The instructor was very motivational and convincing. She along with my best friend and a host of others talked me into going in the ocean. To calm my fears they gave me a floatation device which I refused to hold on to. I insisted that I wear it instead. Then they all told me I would be safe they were strong swimmers...blah blah blah...they are all looking and talking to me with their back towards the ocean. I am looking past them at the biggest wave that was about to take us all under. If I hadn't insisted on wearing that floatation device I honestly believe I would not be writing this as I would be dead. It was in that moment I knew, if I ever wanted to truly survive I could not depend on others. I was going to swim!

I reached out the Aqua Instructor, Marco. We worked every other day 3x a week. Every week was a battle but now four weeks later...I'm a swimmer baby. Aint no stopping me now.

Many lessons, I wanted to cancel but I decided NOT THIS TIME. Many times I cried while in my lesson and at home in private but I KEPT GOING BACK. I PERSISTED and I SUCCEEDED. This has empowered me in more ways than I can count. Not only did I learn how to swim, I learned how to LIVE.

Until next time....



just keep swimming ...just keep swimming...just keep swimming swimming swimming swimming