Time to Go...

The hate in America seems almost insurmountable at times, and I am scared. So much so that I am taking actions to make my second home, my new home :Amsterdam. I have so many thoughts, and fears. I have always been an artist, a creative...how will I truly make money? Will I actually be able to make it happen? Can I and WILL I be approved for a visa? An Immigration lawyer is expensive but to make it legal I will do what needs to be done.

Currently I am abroad but dread returning home because even in NYC the hate is so tangible you can taste it in your throat, squeezing the life from me at every moment. I will miss the states but as I've said before...in Europe I have been alone AND sad but never EVER scared. I just don't have it in me to fight anymore. I just want to be free. Many have said I should stay and fight. Fight for my place in the world, in my country but I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT...I want peace. However the only way for me to have peace at this point is to shut up and accept the hate, and even then that doesn't guarantee me peace, or even a life. They (Police in particular) have shot and killed more black women and men in the last year and I only anticipate the numbers to rise. And why should they stop...they know and HAVE gotten away with it many times over. Granted not all police are bad, but...

Please God let this Visa process become a bit easier. And give me the six months I need to get my house, money and affairs in order because Lord knows...it is TIME TO GO!